My son has been the most influential in my work life because everything I do, I do for him. He saved me at a time when I didn’t even know I needed saving. True, I had had my struggles with anxiety, depression and not wanting to live for about 15 years, but I was in a much better space with my mental health and trying my best to live my life to the fullest.
Before I got pregnant with him, I was in my 2nd year of bartending and living a single life. I had no thoughts of starting a family or getting pregnant. In fact, I had just accepted an offer with Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines to bartend on one of these cruise ships for 8 months, with plans to depart from the port in Florida in January of the following year. I had secured my passport, and I was excited for a chance to finally explore and see the world beyond the US.
Yes, I was casually dating, but I wasn’t seeing anyone seriously. One fated night, the “club” was skirt-skirted up, and I was impregnated. I even took a Plan B pill the next day to make sure pregnancy was not in my plans. But I was sk-skirted up again that same night. I thought since the pill box said within 48-72 hours I was safe. That was not the case.
I started feeling stomach discomfort within a few weeks. I was still casually seeing the potential baby’s father, but we were not a couple. I remember riding in the car with him one day and complaining of my stomach discomfort. I was popping Tums left and right but still felt no relief. I told him I hope it’s not the “P” word. He said Period. I said, no pregnant. We drove in silence for the rest of the ride.
A couple of months later, my stomach discomfort still wasn’t getting any better, so I decided to explore the possibility of me being pregnant. Most or some would go get a pregnancy test at the local drugstore and take the test. But not I! I was too scared to find out the results alone. So, I booked an appointment at the local health department, so a health professional could provide a definitive answer.
I remember waiting in the lobby, nervous and anxious for them to call my name back to the exam room. Finally, my name was called and into the exam room, I followed the male nurse. He casually made conversation with me and explained the procedure. I would pee in a cup in the adjoined bathroom, and he would perform the test once I brought the cup back into the exam room. I did as he requested and sat in a chair as he still lightheartedly chatted with me all the while conducting the test. Then he nonchalantly said, you are pregnant. Now, honey, I couldn’t tell you anything else he said after that as I was in total shock. To make it to my early 30s without ever being pregnant, and all of a sudden that had changed.
9 months later, I welcomed a beautiful, healthy baby boy. His father and I were still “together,” but it was never a relationship of true love. Basically, we were together because we had a child together. In the end, the relationship never grew, and I left with my son 2 years later. Here I am in my early 30s, and I had to start over by moving us in with my parents as I didn’t work much while his father and I were together as I was the primary care for my son.
I went back to bartending while my mom and dad would watch my son while I worked. Bartending wasn’t fulfilling me as it once was. Yes, the money was good, and I had plenty of shifts to work, but something was still missing.
I started seeing a therapist again, and we unpacked the toxic relationship with my son’s father, my parents, my family, childhood and past failed relationships. In between those sessions and my new meditation practice, we discovered along with my talks with my best friend that I should become a life coach. Life coach, huh? That sounded so foreign to me. How can I coach others when my life isn’t anywhere near being put together?
I started doing my research on life coaches, how much they make, what they do, how to get certified, and so on. I came across a program that seemed like it would be a good fit for me. It was located in California, but they offered an online course that I could take 2 nights a week for 2 hours. The price tag was pretty hefty, but I spoke with Spirit and my trusted friends and parents about my decision, which they supported. My parents would entertain my son while I would go to my dad’s office to spend those 2 hours in class. It was a 3 month process. But in the end, I was double certified as a life coach and spiritual life coach as it was a dual program.
And from there on, it inspired me to own my own business to take care of my son and myself. So, I went through the process of filing for my LLC, business licenses, and so forth. Each part of the journey hasn’t been easy, but at the end of the day, it fulfills me as my son does also. I've been able to touch and reach a lot of people's lives in person and virtually, and that really warms my heart to know that I am making a difference.
Now, my son and I live comfortably on our own, and my son is as involved with the business as he can be as I am. We are building generational wealth that can carry on our generations to come, and he can impart the knowledge he has gained from me to them.